All good!
There are quite a few things I wanted to update you on/squee over/mention…most of which are in no logical way related except that they happen in my life or are thoughts that skitter through my brain. So in order to save you from awkward seques, let’s just utilize bullet points today. (Besides I have HALF AN HOUR before I have to leave to pick up the boys. In other words, there’s no time to edit this post into a thoughtful, humerous piece. Not that any of posts ever are. Anyway…times awasting…)
- Thanksgiving was good. Great even. We spent Thursday at Jon’s (paternal) granndmother’s with his sister, nephews & dad. It was low key and enjoyable. We even got some family photos that I didn’t hate! Grandma is 93 but she did all the cooking. Kinda amazing huh. Friday we drove about an hour and a half to visit the other side of his family – a trip I all but begged to make. Not that I really had to twist his arm at ALL. I adore his grandfather. He is the cutest little old man EVER. And I get absolutely lost in conversation with his aunts & mother. Bonus – I finally got to meet Jon’s cousin and his wife…and their brand new baby. Which was of course the highlight of everyone’s day.
- Jon finally got the referral to an allergist and things moved quickly from there. Turns out that he’s probably not having a reaction to anything external. On one hand, WHEW! On the other hand, WTH?!!? From what we know right now, there’s really not much that can be done other than manage it with meds until it goes away…and it can last anywhere from 10 weeks to 10 years. The good news here is over the counter, generic allergy meds work just as well as the $50 prescription. Also, the allergist reassured Jon (and therefore me) that there was virtually no chance he would go into shock and die on me. That means I don’t get to threaten to stab him in the leg with an epi-pen though. Oh well. Sacrifices yanno.
- I realized (again) last night that my most hated chore isn’t laundry or dishes or even cleaning the bathroom. It’s making the boys lunches. I have no idea why since it takes all of five minutes to do. I would gladly PAY someone to do it. Except if I did that we might as well pay for them to eat at the school…which is basically the same thing…and the whole reason I’m making lunches is to save money so yeah.
- It’s December!!!! Gah! And Squee! Did it sneak up on anyone else? Seriously. Part of me is really excited. I’ve organized my baking plan and card list. I’ve brainstormed gifts for the boys and decided I’d really like to keep it to 1-2 things this year and try to give them “experiences” rather than stuff. But I haven’t duct tied Jon down to discuss everything yet. I’ve done pretty good about not freaking out because THREE WEEKS AND GIFTS AREN’T FIGURED OUT. I said pretty good – I’m not perfect. My decorations are out but not completely up. The boys and I are decorating the tree tonight and I’m sure I’ll finish up this weekend. I can’t believe I’m going to say this but…(deep breath)…now we just need snow.
- Another entry in the canons of “how Rhoni is spoiled” – Jon told me the other night he was thinking about me getting a gym membership near the school. He recognizes the direct connection between my sanity & working out and he is also painfully aware of my extreme, debilitating dislike of temperature under 55 degrees Fahrenheit (painfully because he listens to be whine about it starting sometime mid November and ending sometime mid April…if he’s lucky). So today I visited a gym that is in the process of renovating and has everything I want/need. And I signed on the dotted line. And now I’m giddy. I really REALLY liked it there. It’s not overbearing or intimidating like some of the big chains but it’s not just bare bones. There’s a full range of machines & free weights & cardio equipment. There are group classes – including a spin class that actually fits my schedule! There’s a martial arts/mma/fighting facility in the same building. Those classes are an extra fee but I like the idea of being able to peek in at them and the vibe they add. There are raquetball courts and equipment to borrow. There’s an (outdoor) pool. There’s tanning and they do body comp testing regularly. And a fun fact – the 2012 Olympic wrestling team is working out there.
- The gym lady and I were chatting today while she was giving me a tour about goals & favorite exercises & such and suddenly I heard myself saying “I want to be able to be an example to others and get my personal trainer certification again.” It just kinda fell out of my mouth. But I’ve been really thinking about it since wondering “Where did that come from?” But I would love to do that…to work as a trainer…I don’t know how that would work with schedules or financially or anything but that’s okay. Step One is getting myself to a point where I’m truly practicing what I preach and can be an example. And a key component of that is going to be the gym. I’m going in Monday for a body comp test and will do my first workout in those facilities. Did I mention? Giddy? I love gym atmospheres. My internal social butterfly is soothed even with headphones on and zoned out in my own world.
There was more I’m sure but look at the time! Time to pick up the boys and decorate the tree!
Haha just kidding
So remember a few days ago when I said that Jon hasn’t had an allergy breakout lately?
Yes. Well.
Apparently the only reason he didn’t have symptoms was thanks to a handy little prescription of Xyzal. A handy little prescription that ran out a few days ago. Tonight his lip swelled up as bad as it ever has and he developed the lump in his throat. He took a couple of Benadryl and went to bed. So far no hives which is, I suppose, a small blessing. At least he’s not itching although for my OWN personal reassurance I’d prefer the hives to the swollen throat. I’m sure he’d disagree in the light of his comfort.
So, on the one hand, yay for modern medicine. At least we know the symptoms can be managed. But on the other hand, MANAGING SYMPTOMS DOESN’T GIVE US ANSWERS. Neither does me freaking out but you guys. I’m more than a little concerned. Right now he’s FINE. I mean if you count a lip that looks like evidence of spousal abuse and a lump in his throat as “fine”. But he’s breathing okay and he doesn’t look like he has some odd skin disease and he’s not itching. And yet – obviously the only reason he hasn’t had continuous symptoms is the meds. Which means there’s a continued exposure to some elusive allergen. And can’t continued exposure lead to ana..anaph…anaphylactic shock? Well look at this from WebMD…(and if you don’t want to read it, I’ll sum it up for you afterwards)
“Anaphylaxis is a serious, potentially life-threatening allergic response that is marked by swelling, hives, lowered blood pressure, and dilated blood vessels. In severe cases, a person will go into shock. If anaphylactic shock isn’t treated immediately, it can be fatal.
This condition occurs when the immune system creates specific disease-fighting antibodies (called immunoglobulin E or IgE) toward a substance that is normally harmless, such as food. When you are first exposed to the substance, your body does not react, but it does produce the antibodies. When you are exposed to the substance again, the antibodies spring into action, releasing large amounts of a protein called histamine. Histamine causes the symptoms described above.
What Are the Symptoms of Anaphylaxis?
Anaphylaxis may begin with severe itching of the eyes or face and, within minutes, progress to more serious symptoms. These symptoms include swallowing and breathing difficulties, abdominal pain, cramps, vomiting, diarrhea, hives, and angioedema (swelling similar to hives, but the swelling is beneath the skin instead of on the surface).
If you have symptoms of anaphylaxis, seek emergency medical attention immediately. The condition can quickly result in an increased heart rate, sudden weakness, a drop in blood pressure, shock, and ultimately unconsciousness and death.”
(Emphasis added by me)
If you didn’t want to read all that basically it says the symptoms he’s having can be a prelude to LIFE THREATENING ISSUES.
He’s so miserable and I don’t know what to do for him. I don’t know that there’s anything I CAN do for him except let him rest. I want to fix it. I’m wracking my brain trying to figure out what we introduced new, what’s different. My husband is having continuous severe allergic reactions and I can’t protect him and I should. It’s my responsibility and privilege to give him and our boys a safe, clean home to enjoy and there’s something – SOMETHING – I’m missing that turns it from a home into a poisonous pit.
I don’t know you guys. I just don’t know. Except I’m worried and that doesn’t help matters. And he needs to get to an allergist. Stat.
Mama’s little birdie
When I was growing up, my mother had a little bird. We never saw the stupid thing but lemmie tell ya, it had a big mouth. We couldn’t do ANYTHING without little birdie telling on us. As we grew up, we heard less and less of it until we had children of our own. Then we received our own little birdies. Our mother (now Nana) kept hers too so my poor kid, aka the first grandchild, got a double dose.
TheKid is twelve so I haven’t pulled out the “A little birdie told me” in awhile.
Last night I was standing in the kitchen making meatballs. TheKid was sitting at the dining room table directly behind me doing homework. The other two were just around the corner in the living room playing video games. I’m wrist deep in raw meat and seasonings when I hear the 6 year old start whining and fussing at his brother.
“LilBit – if you’re going to be grouchy & fussy at your brother, you’re not going to get to play, understand?” I called out
He huffed. Loudly.
“And huffing at me is just going to get you in trouble young man.”
I waited 3-5 seconds then followed up with “And so will rolling your eyes!”
The living room went silent – then the whispering started up furiously. I turned to glance at TheKid and share a laugh only to find him staring at me in shock.
“You didn’t even look at him! How did you know?”
I grinned. “Remember my little birdie?”
He sighed deeply as he turned back around shaking his head. I waited for a declaration of how he’s TWELVE and NOT stupid… Instead I hear him mutter “I HATE that stupid bird.”
I couldn’t help it. I laughed.
You know it’s love when…
Last night I was hugging Jon when I noticed he smelled…different…fragrant. So I made the astute observation. “You smell different – like cologne or perfume…” He thought for a moment then exclaimed “Oh! It must be this!” as he raised an arm so I could sniff his deodorant. Which I did. Without thinking about how odd it was to have my nose buried in my husband’s armpit. At least he was wearing a shirt. And, well, deodorant.
We’re in WHAT month?
Seriously where did this year go? I’ve been a stay at home mom for about a month and a half now. I rather like it except for the whole lack of a paycheck thing. I’m still job hunting. I’m sending out between 2 and 5 resumes/applications a week but so far have only had one interview (and rejection). I could find SOMETHING I know. The key is finding something that is worth it. I don’t want to get a paycheck just to sign it over to a childcare provider, yanno?
The first quarter of school of over. Considering I promised TheBoy that we’ll start P90X together this summer, it’s kinda scary! I was getting bored with my workouts (surprised? no? yeah me either), I started the Couch to 5K program this week. I’m considering a 5K in June which gives me, what, 6 months to train. Maybe that sounds like a bit of overkill but yeah, I’ve never been a “runner” before AND I don’t expect I’ll be training alot outside between now and oh, April so it seems reasonable enough to me. Anyway, P90X with a 12 year old is great motivator. My workout schedule is pretty steady but I was stuck for awhile. After a week of being semi-sick and sleeping alot, I dropped through my sticking point. Rest rest rest – it’s a component I tend to underestimate. And diet is the one component I struggle with the most. It’s actually gotten much much better but my sweet tooth is killing me. I’m no good at having “just a little”. It triggers a complete meltdown in my overall diet. Therefore, it’s time to eliminate processed sugar. No more obvious sources – candy, cookies, etc. No more hot chocolate. No more flavored yogurt. No more chocolate milk (sob). My goal is to cut down on milk in general. I REALLY like breakfast cereal but even Kashi has quite a bit in it – especially when compared with simple oats. To most it may seem like a tough time of year to eliminate sugar but honestly, there’s nothing I’m looking forward to this holiday season. Anything I might want, I can make. After the new year I’ll consider a brief break from the restriction but for now, meh. For now I’ll keep sugar free jello but if that turns out to be a trigger too then I’ll eliminate it too.
So good news – Jon hasn’t had an allergic breakout in two weeks. We still don’t know what was causing them. He tested negative for food allergies but he’s still showing the early signs of an episode – tingly, numb lip, slight swelling. Allergy meds seem to nip it in the bud thank goodness but I’d still like an answer.
Anyway – not much going on around here. I’ll keep you updated on the whole sugar experiment and 5k training.
Sweet sounds
The rest of our household is in their respective beds, soundly asleep. I just moved the last load of laundry into the dryer and should be joining them but sleepiness eludes me.
Jon has developed an allergic reaction to…something. He had been waking up with hive-like spots for about a month. Then a couple of weeks ago he woke up with one eye swollen almost shut and a top lip that looked as if he’d just climbed out of a MMA ring. The doctor gave him a prescription of steroids and sent him on his way. He continued to get the hives although not nearly as severe looking, and he mentioned his throat often felt like something was stuck in it. So OF COURSE for the past 13-14 nights, every time he STOPS snoring I jerk awake. I roll over, straining to hear a quiet breath; I squint through the darkness to see if I can see his chest move. Finally he’ll make a noise and I’ll doze off until he gets quiet again.
Then Tuesday he wakes up covered in angry red, swollen welts. He itched, he ached, he was miserable. The doctor said “Hm. We should probably try something else this time.” So they took blood and gave him a steroid shot and sent him home with a prescription for an antihistamine. He was okay yesterday. Today? The welts look worse than ever. He aches. He itches. He’s miserable. He went to bed at 9:00. (He never goes to bed before 10:00.) This was after spending a couple of hours laying down earlier. (Something else he never does.)
Right before he went in the room he casually mentioned that earlier he’d taken one of the prescription strength pain pills left over from when I had my infected lymph node. He hoped it would help with the itching. It didn’t. So he’d just taken some Nyquil. And his allergy meds.
This has taken me half an hour to type because every time I can’t hear him snore, I tiptoe/run into the room and hover until I see and/or hear proof he’s still breathing.
Have you ever heard an elderly person comment that they used to complain about their spouse’s snoring until they were gone? And now they can’t sleep? Yeah I totally get that now.
Oops
I did it again. I’ve neglected this little site except for the 100 Word Challenges. I haven’t forgotten you. In fact, I think about you often usually in the form of “I should post that” but obviously, thought doesn’t equate action.
Right now I’m kicked back at the library downtown waiting for the boys to get out of school. I’m at a desk directly in the sun. It’s quiet. And there’s free wi-fi. It’s slow as molasses – not cold molasses at least but just regular room temperature molasses – and it’s unsecure, but it’s wi-fi. I’m rather enjoying the downtime. See last week I was laid off. It wasn’t completely unexpected but it was still a bit of a surprise. The downside to this is, of course, the lack of a paycheck. But, come to think of it, that’s really the only downside I can find. Upsides – oh there are plenty of those:
- No more childcare expense. Jon takes the older boys to school in the morning. I take LilBit to kindergarten at noon then hang out at the library until 3:00 when it’s time to pick them all up. (We live about half an hour away so I don’t like to make that trip multiple times)
- I get to hang out at the library where it’s almost a requirement that I either write or read. I get absolutely giddy while settling in for the afternoon.
- I don’t HAVE to get up in the mornings but when I do, my days are amazingly productive.
- Dinner isn’t rushed.
I feel so much lighter. Literally and figuratively. I knew I wasn’t 100% happy but I didn’t realize how unhappy I really was until it was over. Survival by denial maybe? Whatever – it’s been SUCH a relief. And in the past week I’ve managed to drop several pounds almost effortlessly. I’m pushing myself more in my workouts and my eating is much better so it’s an explainable loss. But it’s as if the pieces fit together now. There’s the stress of no paycheck of course. I worry about little expenses. But this isn’t permanent. As much as I’ve enjoyed this past week, it can’t be permanent. Not yet. I’ve been sending out resumes and filling out applications. There’s one opportunity in particular that I (think I) really want. It’s with a company I’ve wanted to get on with since I moved out here. The fact that a position finally opened up the same week I became unemployed hasn’t escaped my notice. It would certainly be convenient for the family as a whole and…I just think it’d be good. I think it would fit instead of being that small spot that just rubs wrong and leaves a blister on my otherwise pleasant life.
So that’s my life right now. The boys are having pictures done at school today but I never purchase those. I’d just prefer to take my own. TheBoy and LilBit hate having pictures taken. My biological kid is naturally used to it. LilBit and I came to a resolution today.
“I would like it if you took ten to eleven pictures of me because I’m cute but ONLY ten. I don’t like anymore.”
I jumped at the chance and told him this weekend I would take pictures of him AND his brothers. He was very excited about the idea…as long as I agreed to take no more than ten. Guess I’d better make them count! And TheBoy will just have to deal.
100 Word Challenge – Bear
He quietly took a step through the dark opening with only a momentary glance to the muted light outside. Low snorts and rumblings drifted through the dimness, jumpstarting his heart. His pulse pounded in his ears as he slowly reached out towards the mound in front of him. Eyes flew open, glinting in anger. Vicious snarls gave warning as he stepped back just out of the reach of the ferocious swipe of claws.
“Honey it’s time to get ready for work”
The growls became distinguishable as English. “Fine.”
He sighed in relief. He’d survived another dawn encounter with his wife.
Writing
I found another writing challenge to participate in….bi-monthly prompts/themes and short story format. (I’m not giving up the 100 Word Challenge…this is just an additional format to play with) At first glance, the current theme is not condusive to a very upbeat narrative but then again I’m sure some people can turn a positive spin on anything. I am not one of those people.
There are times when writing strips away my outer layers, when brainstorming lays bare my basest desires and fears. I don’t know if every person who has ever put words to a page has experienced this but it was especially apparent to me today. I think anytime I create character or situation, it is in some an extension of some aspect within me…whether there’s a talent I long for or a trait that I want to purge. Sometimes it’s obvious and easy and I know exactly what I want and where it’s going. Others it’s a process of discovery, a realization of another facet. This evening was an odd combination. Two different ideas for one theme, both bearing the same base issue, both came to me in their entirety almost flowing effortlessly, both highlighting what is apparently my worst nightmare.
100 Word Challenge – Fear
Another challenge from Velvet Verbosity:
A knot settles in the gut, burning and twisting ever tighter even as tendrils reach out to infiltrate the rest of the body. They quickly climb the spine with icy fingers and tighten around the lungs. The heart beats harder and quicker against the invasion, the extremities tingle. Will you embrace it as a friend’s counsel and step through the door to fly free with heightened awareness? Or will it possess you, weighing down your body, freezing your soul, paralyzing your sense of self? Master or slave — the choice is yours my friend, as it is for us all.
