Dear Self,

This whole screwed up sleep schedule thing? It’s gotta change. Scrubbing various household surfaces at 2:00am is getting old. The office still expects us to be present, presentable and functional at 8:00am you know. And we barely managed the present part of those three requirements this morning. The other two? The jury is still out on those.

Hey you! Ms. Psych Major Self! Quit reaching for that DSM. You’re NOT cyclothymic. If that were the case you wouldn’t be missing those hours of sleep…at least not until you crashed. Geez – a few nights of insomnia and suddenly you’re self-diagnosising. You really should’ve listened to advice and went into a business major instead. Go psycho-analyze strangers online or something.

Look Self, it’s great that you’re able to adjust so quickly to new situations and schedules. Really it is. But one late night workout does not a new schedule make. Last Tuesday was a fluke, ok. So can we please channel the 11:00pm energy burst into 4:00am and get back to normal? If not we’re going to have to take extreme measures. How’s back to back kickboxing and spin classes sound? Hm?

Sincerely,
Me and I