All is well

I know I’ve been neglectful both in posting and in visiting but I hope you guys can forgive me. I’ve been occupied with real life. Finally.

I made it to the airport with time to spare Tuesday night and Sadie talked me through a minor panic attack via text while I waited. Best piece of advise was “just don’t forget to breathe” which was timely because I’d forgotten precisely that.  But she was right and everything was fine. He walked off the concourse and we hugged and after I got through the initial surreal-ness of actually having him here, within reach (which I took full advantage of and kept one hand on his arm, back or in his hand at all times), and the general shakiness, it was completly natural and comfortable.  There have been some intense moments and some amazing ones and some that were nothing short of miraculous. I realized as we laid talking yesterday that he was running his fingers along my face. Nothing major there. Except he was running his fingertips along my eyelids and the tracing my eyes. Still sounds like no big deal for most people, right. But for me? I have an abject terror to anyone or anything else getting close to my eyes. Optometrist appointments are sheer torture. For me AND the doctor as he knows I will leave claw marks in the arm of the chair for a simple checkup and if he has to dilate my eyes? Might as well find the duct tape. He doesn’t even try anymore. But Jon? I never flinch. And it amazes me every.single.time.

The neurotic cat loves him, of course. He has played with her and she either goes completely feisty, yea play with me crazy or rolls onto her back, meows pathetically and melts. I kinda have the same reaction. I think I’ll keep him. Or let him keep me for as long as he’ll have me. A coworker said she hoped that being in his arms would be like coming home for me. And it is and so much more. It’s completeness and peace and comfort and laughter and I’m loving every single second of it.