“Hey did he leave yesterday? How are you?”
I heard that no less than ten times today. And each time I answered the same. A chipper “Yeah, he got home safe. I’m fine! How are you?”
What was I suppose to say?
“I cried myself to sleep last night. I woke up and cried this morning when I reached out and he wasn’t there and it hurts to breathe when I’m not focused completely on work but hey, other than that I’m peachy.”
I climbed into bed this afternoon and slept for an hour so I didn’t have to face the emptiness. We web-cammed tonight and as I watched him hug his little boy, watched him dry his hair – my heart stopped for a moment, my breath caught in my throat. I teared up then. I feel tears well up periodically seeing him just out of reach. This has taken me almost an hour to write because I keep getting distracted watching him.
But honestly. I’m fine. Or I will be. The seperation is still fresh and so everything is amplified. I know that as we slip back into our routines, the distance won’t seem quite so overwhelming, the empty spot beside me won’t seem quite so suffocating. I will feel a void until we’re together again but that’s okay. It’s a temporary situation. So yeah, I’ll be fine. Just don’t call me at bedtime or first thing in the morning.
