Oops

I did it again. I’ve neglected this little site except for the 100 Word Challenges. I haven’t forgotten you. In fact, I think about you often usually in the form of “I should post that” but obviously, thought doesn’t equate action.

Right now I’m kicked back at the library downtown waiting for the boys to get out of school. I’m at a desk directly in the sun. It’s quiet. And there’s free wi-fi. It’s slow as molasses – not cold molasses at least but just regular room temperature molasses – and it’s unsecure, but it’s wi-fi. I’m rather enjoying the downtime. See last week I was laid off. It wasn’t completely unexpected but it was still a bit of a surprise.  The downside to this is, of course, the lack of a paycheck. But, come to think of it, that’s really the only downside I can find. Upsides – oh there are plenty of those:

• No more childcare expense.  Jon takes the older boys to school in the morning. I take LilBit to kindergarten at noon then hang out at the library until 3:00 when it’s time to pick them all up. (We live about half an hour away so I don’t like to make that trip multiple times)
• I get to hang out at the library where it’s almost a requirement that I either write or read. I get absolutely giddy while settling in for the afternoon.
• I don’t HAVE to get up in the mornings but when I do, my days are amazingly productive.
• Dinner isn’t rushed.

I feel so much lighter. Literally and figuratively.  I knew I wasn’t 100% happy but I didn’t realize how unhappy I really was until it was over. Survival by denial maybe? Whatever – it’s been SUCH a relief. And in the past week I’ve managed to drop several pounds almost effortlessly. I’m pushing myself more in my workouts and my eating is much better so it’s an explainable loss. But it’s as if the pieces fit together now. There’s the stress of no paycheck of course. I worry about little expenses. But this isn’t permanent. As much as I’ve enjoyed this past week, it can’t be permanent. Not yet.  I’ve been sending out resumes and filling out applications. There’s one opportunity in particular that I (think I) really want. It’s with a company I’ve wanted to get on with since I moved out here. The fact that a position finally opened up the same week I became unemployed hasn’t escaped my notice. It would certainly be convenient for the family as a whole and…I just think it’d be good. I think it would fit instead of being that small spot that just rubs wrong and leaves a blister on my otherwise pleasant life.

So that’s my life right now. The boys are having pictures done at school today but I never purchase those. I’d just prefer to take my own. TheBoy and LilBit hate having pictures taken. My biological kid is naturally used to it. LilBit and I came to a resolution today.

“I would like it if you took ten to eleven pictures of me because I’m cute but ONLY ten. I don’t like anymore.”

I jumped at the chance and told him this weekend I would take pictures of him AND his brothers. He was very excited about the idea…as long as I agreed to take no more than ten.  Guess I’d better make them count!  And TheBoy will just have to deal.